Rules for Better Writing^^

I forget where I first came across this, but I've been reminded of it recently as I'm teaching a number of writing classes at present.

Rules for Better Writing
Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
The passive voice is to be ignored.
Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary.
Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
No sentence fragments.
Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
Be more or less specific.
One should never generalize.
Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
Avoid cliches like the plague.
Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
Don't use no double negatives.
Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
Kill all exclamation points!!!
Who needs rhetorical questions?
If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: resist hyperbole.
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
Puns are for children, not groan readers.